Can We Talk About How Much Work It Actually Takes to Run a Home?

Can I ask you something?

Does anyone else ever feel like running a home is almost a full-time job in itself?

I don’t just mean the cleaning.

I mean all the thinking.

The constant noticing.

The remembering.

The planning.

The little jobs that never make it onto a to-do list because they’re simply part of everyday life.

People often say to me, “You’re always decorating.”

It always makes me laugh because I’m really not.

I recently redecorated my dining room, which also doubles as my office. The last time I decorated it was in 2017. I know that because I have a little tradition. Every time I decorate a room, I write a message on the wall before the wallpaper goes up.

It’s usually a positive affirmation, along with the date.

Partly it’s for me, to remember when I last decorated, but mostly it’s for whoever lives here after me. One day they’ll strip the wallpaper off and discover a little note from a stranger wishing them happiness in their home.

I love the thought of that.

So no, I’m not forever decorating.

What I am forever doing is tweaking.

Touching up a bit of paint.

Moving furniture because the room works differently now.

Buying a new rug because the dogs wrecked it!

Reorganising a cupboard.

Replacing something that’s worn out.

Adding a lamp.

Moving a plant.

Our homes change because our lives change.

The way my home worked in 2017 isn’t the way it needs to work today.

Children grow up.

People start working from home.

Hobbies change.

Needs change.

We change.

I don’t think our homes are ever really finished, and perhaps they shouldn’t be.

They’re living spaces, just like we’re living people.

Then there’s everything else.

Cooking dinner.

I cook from scratch most evenings because im a fussy eater. I know batch cooking works brilliantly for lots of people, but I’ve accepted it’s just not for me. By the time I’ve reheated it, I’ve convinced myself it tastes different! It’s one of my many little quirks.

Then there’s the washing up because I don’t have a dishwasher.

Laundry.

Ironing.

Food shopping.

Walking the dog.

Changing the beds.

Cleaning the bathroom.

Vacuuming.

Watering the plants.

Sorting out paperwork.

Booking appointments.

Paying bills.

Remembering birthdays.

Replacing the lightbulb that’s been flickering for two weeks.

Ordering more washing powder before you run out.

Making sure there’s enough milk for tomorrow morning.

None of these jobs are particularly difficult on their own.

But when you add them together, they become something much bigger.

A mental load that’s always quietly running in the background.

I think that’s the part people don’t see.

As women, many of us are juggling jobs, children, partners, ageing parents, pets, friendships and life itself alongside trying to keep a home ticking over.

It’s no wonder so many of us feel tired.

I’ve noticed another change as I’ve got older too.

In my twenties and thirties I seemed to have endless energy. I could work all week, go out all weekend, survive on very little sleep and somehow still keep on top of everything.

Now?

Not so much.

My weekends look very different.

I actually need that time at home.

Some people might think I spend too much time doing housework, but the truth is, I’m not chasing perfection.

I’m chasing peace.

I know myself well enough now to know that I struggle to relax when my surroundings feel chaotic. A few hours spent putting things back in order isn’t really about having a spotless house.

It’s about creating an environment that helps me breathe a little easier.

Yes, it probably means I socialise less than I did twenty years ago.

And strangely…

I’m okay with that.

I’m definitely in my homebody era.

Maybe that’s age.

Maybe it’s menopause.

Maybe it’s simply knowing myself better.

What I do know is that I’ve stopped feeling guilty for choosing a quiet weekend over rushing around trying to do everything.

Sometimes looking after my home is how I look after myself.

And perhaps that’s what we don’t talk about enough.

Running a home isn’t just physical work.

It’s emotional work too.

It’s making hundreds of tiny decisions every single week that nobody notices because they’re simply expected.

So if you’ve ever reached Sunday evening wondering where your weekend disappeared, please know you’re not alone.

If you’ve looked around and thought, “I’ve been busy all day but it doesn’t feel like I’ve achieved anything,” I promise you have.

You’ve kept a home running.

You’ve cared for the people—and perhaps the pets—you love.

You’ve quietly held lots of little pieces of life together.

And that’s worth recognising.

I’d love to know… do you find your home changes with you over time too?

Is this you? do you manage to get everything done with a smile on your face?

Me: Some days yes, others…….erm nope